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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A One Minute Woman?

We have all heard the jokes right? The guy who lasts a minute in bed. Sometimes, even less.
I'm not ashamed to admit I've been there, done that. In about a minute. Hell, control is tough. Don't believe me, try controlling a sneeze sometime. Or maybe the dilation of your pupils when you go out in the bright sunlight to laugh at this article. Beside, if women weren't so damn sexy then control wouldn't be so difficult! (Yes, that was a generalized compliment rather than a feeble attempt at blaming my lack of control on the woman).

Yes, we all know most women can have multiple O's. Yes, we men are jealous and hate you for it. But just because you CAN have multiple O's, should you? Oops, I meant, we men are happy for you being able to have multiple O's!!
But really, should you?

What about a woman delaying her orgasm?
Ok ok, before you burn me at the stake, hear me out. I know, it doesn't make sense that someone with the ability to have multiple O's would delay having them. If anything you would want to have more. Oh God yes, please, more, yes, MORE! (Sorry, got excited). But what if delaying orgasm as long as possible would result in the most wonderful, spectacular, mind-blowing, life-changing, hallelujah, warm apple pie orgasm possible? Would it be worth it then?

I'm sure there is a tantric, new-agey type movement, book, or group out there somewhere who has thought of that one already. Have any ladies tried it? How did it work out?

Maybe an even better question is this one; If men should work, usually at the behest of women, to control their orgasms and prolong intercourse, then wouldn't it be fair to ask women to work on learning how to have orgasms more quickly?
(Hey, you over there with the stake and gasoline, just hold up a minute!!)

I'm being serious here! Yes, I do think in general men achieve that warm apple pie moment a lot quicker than women. And I think men working on control in order to provide more satisfaction for their woman (women?) is a grand endeavor. But what about those times when you are in a hurry. You know what I mean. That 15 minutes in the morning before the kids wake up. The 10 minutes when you get home after work before you have to start dinner. Wouldn't it be great at those times if women had the ability to have an orgasm in a minute?

So what about a one minute woman? Is there such a thing? Could I possibly find a woman who has a mind-blowing, emotionally and physically exhausting orgasm in under a minute? Hmmmm.

Think about the emotional connection men and women could have if they could finally be on the same page with their orgasms! Both having fully satisfying sex in under a minute! The possibilities are phenomenal! World peace would finally be possible! No more hunger, no more disease, free ice cubes for everyone!!

But, what would we then do with all that free time?
Probably chores.

Yep, that's why I'm going to keep working on control. Keep reading the tantric sex books. Keep being jealous of the women who can have multiple O's. And keep doing the male kegel exercises.


  1. What kind of suggestion is this?

    My best reply is that I would have to fake having a one-minute mind blowing orgasm.

    As part of my morning meditation and breathwork routine, I like to stimulate my yoni to the very edge of orgasm. Then, using my breath, I draw the energy upward, and let it flow back down, giving me a full body orgasm. Regularly throughout the day, the slightest employment of Kegel-type exercises, combined with breathwork, delivers me back into a full bodied orgasm.

    Maybe I'm not walking around screaming and squirting, but it is my equivalent of the one-minute orgasm. I just use control to decide which minute will be infused with orgasm.

    Screaming, ejaculating, and loss of consciousness might be another discussion.....

  2. Kameshwari,

    Good to have your comments as always!

    To answer your question, this article (though not a uniquely poly topic) was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek look at a fairly common issue from a completely different perspective. A paradigm-shift examination if you will.

    Socializing in a more sexually open social circle as I do, where women seem to be more comfortable with their sexuality, male performance is a topic which comes up somewhat regularly. A few things struck me as interesting about this:
    1. It is an issue that isn’t specific to a lifestyle. That is to say; Mono’s and Poly’s both seem to experience the concern. It is a human issue, not so much a lifestyle issue.
    2. Although I travel in a more sexually aware and open circle of friends, and women seem to be more open about their sexuality in the group in general, the men although being open about their sexual desire and interest in multiple partners still don’t discuss performance issues, techniques, etc.
    3. Neither women nor men, though all are aware of common male performance issues, seem to be taking much action to change things.

    In the article I attempted, with an injection of humor, to address those three points from a completely different perspective than that with which they are commonly addressed. Really the article wasn’t meant as a suggestion but rather to get people thinking about the issue in a new way.

    Obviously there are ways to address performance concerns of both men and women such as meditation and breathing as you mentioned. There is also Tantra and numerous variations of such, magikal sexual work, workshops, seminars, books, papers, lectures, medical reports, drugs, medicines, herbal remedies, diets and on and on. And I could have referenced all of those things. But I think most people, if they are seriously interested in making changes in their life can find those resources on their own. Rather what I want to do is stimulate conversation and get people thinking ‘outside the box’.

    Your comment was exactly the response I had hoped for. A response from someone who decided to take control, explores alternatives, and has experience with a solution that actually worked! I think that is awesome, and congratulations on your success! Your comment is much better than my posting links or references to things I’ve never tried.

    As for the screaming, ejaculating and losing consciousness discussion. . . anytime. Sounds like an interesting topic!

  3. I'm a woman who usually comes in two minutes or less. Depending on the situation, it can be a blessing or a curse.

  4. dfdg,
    Thanks for the comment!

    What are your thoughts? As a woman who orgasms quickly, do you see any benefit to delaying?