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Monday, June 14, 2010

Saturday night and I need a date!

No, this isn't my version of a personal's ad. I'm not going to tell you I like sunsets, walks on the beach or in the rain. How I want someone with a brain or how I don't need someone in my life but want someone to share it with. You aren't going to hear about the lovely color of my eyes or how my smile is the first thing people notice.

Oh wait, I just did tell you all those things.

Did all of that sound familiar? If it did chances are you have been surfing internet dating sites.

Ask a few poly folks how they meet other poly folks and often the topic of internet dating sites will come up. Most of us have heard of, have profiles with, or placed ads on; PolyMatchMaker aka. PMM, or Ok Cupid aka. OKC. Sometimes other sites like Match, Plenty of Fish aka. POF, or even Ashley Madison pop up in conversation.

Although I've heard the names, and even used some of the sites myself, what I don't hear a lot is that they have worked for anyone. Yes, a few people have met other people from the sites in real life. Some have even dated for a period of time. And, after working with internet related social sites and service providers on and off for many years, I have even heard the rare story of internet dating resulting in a marriage. But in general most people seem to think the sites aren't much help.

Many of the poly community complaints focus on the fact that most dating sites aren't geared for the poly lifestyle. The relationship status choices are insufficient to say the least, or there is no way to link with multiple partners to show you are searching as a group. Something else I've noticed is that I already know most of the poly people I find when searching locally on dating sites.

Another complaint I've heard, mainly from poly women, is about the number of e-mails they get that are "Let's do it" e-mails vs. an e-mail that talks about the persons interests. Or put another way, proposition e-mails from guys thinking poly girls are easy vs. e-mails seriously interested in a relationship.

The question of the day is; How have dating sites worked out for you? Assuming you use them, do you use mainly the ones I have mentioned already or have you found a new, unknown gem that is yielding hundreds of nubile, sexy, relationship potentials? And not just the bad, but what good things do you have to say about dating sites?

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