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Thursday, June 17, 2010

You will go blind if you do that!!

Stuff bugs me sometimes. I try to hide it, turn the other cheek, ignore it, suppress it, or fixate on it incessantly if none of the previous options have worked. The one bugging me right now is that I'm going to hell.

That's right folks, I'll be right there with you getting the old un-lubricated pitchfork. Yippie.

Ok seriously, I had another one of 'those' conversations with someone that I just have to share.

I had just admitted I was poly in a mixed crowd. Yes, I know, mistake #1 most probably. The inevitable questions about threesomes, group sex, and all that yummy stuff were being tossed about and I was answering (defending?) myself as best I could. One young lady whom I don't know well said something like, "So you sleep with different people at the same time?"
Me: Yes. Well, not at exactly the same time but essentially, yes.
Her: Don't you worry about disease?
Me: Yes, which is why we are very careful.
Her: Well, that's how diseases are spread.
Me: -puzzled look on face-
Her: That's like masturbation. You could go blind.
Me: -mouth now hanging open, puzzled look still on face-
Her: Okay, you won't really go blind.
Me: Oh good. . .
Her: But you are going to hell.

I had thought she was pulling my leg but at that point I realized she wasn't. This woman truly believed that I would go to hell for acting contrary to what some religions dictate is appropriate behavior.

Now, you are probably wondering about the rest of the conversation but there really wasn't one. I've engaged with people in the past who have what I consider to be illogical beliefs. The result usually is that although logic doesn't support their position they refuse to abandon it for more solid footing. I end up using logic to argue against the position "That's just how it is, no matter what you say". Much like trying to eat a soup sandwich with your fingers. I have learned from those experiences so instead of trying to argue the point that I'm going to hell I will accept it as predestined, unavoidable, and possibly even karmic in nature. I'm going to enjoy it!

Until the day I am removed from my earthly body I will be the best hedonist I can. I will still squish bugs that catch me by surprise or are particularly aggressive about injuring me. I'll continue to drive a vehicle that burns fossil fuels until something better is invented, drink alcohol, smoke, eat foods I enjoy, and use foul language when cut-off on the freeway. And yes, I will continue to have physical relationships with more than one person at a time.

Maybe the next time I see the woman mentioned above I will also have a new response for her; "The God of which you speak loves all of his/her children and I was theoretically created in his/her image so I think he/she will completely understand how I can love more than one person at a time. And if by chance I am wrong, and your God wishes to judge me harshly for how I have loved in my life, I will beg only for him/her to withhold forgiveness. For his/her Heaven (or Nirvana or whatever) is not a place where I would want to exist."

So raise your hands folks. Who else will I be spending time in hell with? All poly's go to hell, right?


  1. I suspect that at one time, this person you spoke with did sincerely believe that a person who masturbates will go blind. But then after some extra special self-pleasuring episodes, she realized that masturbation will not make a person blind.

    Someday, some time, a person or persons will show up in her life who express a unique type of love to her. At first, she will feel guilty because of the limits that she has internalized. But as she feels herself opening to another way of loving, she will cross her own boundaries and feel that love has no limits.

    With warm hearts, and an expansion past the boundaries and limits of one kind of loving, may we all gather together in the radiant glow of multiple love hell.

  2. Kameshwari,

    I sincerely hope you are wrong and that she never believed masturbation would result in blindness. What a psychological mess that could create!

    I loved your last paragraph. I got a good chuckle out of that and look forward to gathering together in multiple love hell!


  3. I was raised Baptist and raised my children in the church. It's highly probable that I would have thought the same at one time.

    I'm a contrary person now. I'm a poly Christian. Whoa there. But I'm now someone who studies and not just someone who lets the "church" tell her what she should think. Sadly, I have family that believes my thoughts process changes are just "justifications" of my behavior on my part.

    My God really is all about love.

    And I liked that last paragraph of Kameshwari's as well.

  4. lovingmorethanone,

    Thanks for the comment.
    I would be interested to hear how you interpret some of the teachings commonly quoted in the Bible that dictate monogamy. Not as a challenge, but because I'm interested in how Christianity and Polyamory fit together.


  5. As someone attached to a poly Christian person, I can contribute one of his favorite sayings: God is love. It's not a metaphor.

    And if God is experienced in love - we poly folks are more godly than most. :)

    (Me, I'm an atheist... but I can appreciate the idea.)