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Friday, August 13, 2010

I need a new towel bar!!

My bathroom towel bar is about 20 inches long. (Or wide, depending on your perspective I guess). It will easily hold one large bath towel unfolded. Plenty of room for one person. But when you add a second person the towels now have to be folded in half. They still fit nicely, dry in a reasonable amount of time, and the towel bar doesn't complain. Additionally when the second person isn't around for a day or so their towel can be folded in fourths. My towel then has breathing room again.

Now add a third towel to that towel bar. Now all 3 towels must pretty much be folded in fourths to fit. Or maybe two folded in fourths, mine in thirds. The towels do not dry quickly and the towel bar emits groans once in a while.

Another problem is; which towel belongs to whom? I will share a lot of things but my bath towel really isn't one of them. It was easy with two towels; mine on the left, yours on the right.

I know what you are thinking right now. What about the hooks on the back of the door? Well, the situation is me and two women with long hair. On the door hooks we have a hair towel, which I have been told in no uncertain terms is necessary and to shut-up and accept the idea. Yes ma'am. There is also my robe, and her robe. And soon, her hair towel and robe? I can hear the door hooks begging for mercy already. Not to mention with all that stuff the door doesn't open all the way and the two-butt passing lane is now down to one-butt. We need a traffic signal for the bathroom door. The second bathroom is an option but that one is used by the kids. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

But wait! There is a towel bar on the shower door!
Dammit. It has a hand-towel and two washcloths. All of which are being changed much more frequently these days. They may require creative folding soon as well if the addition of a washcloth is required.

Fortunately the toothbrush holder has 4 holes. Heck, there is room there for another person!! Hmm, why is she giving me a dirty look?

At least shower space isn't a problem. . . .Oh, you have a scrunchie, a back brush, a washcloth, your own shampoo, conditioner, body wash, razor, shaving cream, and an as yet unidentified substance in a tube? There went the shower space.

Let's go sit on the couch and discuss space issues and figure this out. Oh, I forgot, it is a loveseat type couch. Two seats. That didn't help much, the problem just moved.

All this talking has made me hungry, why don't we get something to eat?
Dammit. The kitchen table seats 4 and with the kids we have 5 people to seat.

It recently struck me how creating a poly family can impact facets of your life you never expected. Fortunately these are problems that I enjoy trying to solve. Though it may sound psychologically absurd, while trying to solve logistics like towel bar space I'm reminded of how full my life is and of the love I'm privileged to experience.

I enjoy having to adjust my cooking habits to accommodate another person. I like seeing an extra pillow in the bedroom. I feel warm inside when I automatically remember needing an extra plate and silverware for meals and seeing the table now includes an extra leaf all the time. I find it interesting seeing how a new addition finds her own space for car keys, coffee cups, purse and glasses. I like how a quiet home becomes a bit more noisy with someone almost always there.

How has your life changed as your poly family has grown? What types of problems did you have to solve, and which ones did you actually enjoy solving? What are the little changes that, although possibly annoying to some, reminded you how full your life has become?


  1. We have similar issues with towels. :) Often, we just throw the extra ones over the shower door to dry. For the washcloths and handtowels - perhaps there's room to install some towel rings near the sink itself? Might help.

    And hair towels are very necessary. :)

    Our table includes an extra leaf all the time now too, even though it takes up more space in the dining room. We shift chairs back and forth from various parts of the house as necessary.

    Ultimately, our space issues when it comes to bedrooms are going to require moving to a bigger house. While this is going to be a hassle in some ways, I'm also really looking forward to it. Family of seven!!

  2. Sometimes the adjustment is easy, especially when I find friendship and love with my SO's OSO.

    My SO and I are currently on a month-long trip. It has an extremely monogamous feeling. I like the comfort, but have been having dreams of the other men in my life. I'm glad that we have returned to the U.S. In a few days, we should be home.

    I have my own towel bar and my own storage space under my side of the bathroom vanity. I would feel awkward if I had to share my bathroom space with another woman. But on the other hand, I love to make meals for my SO's OSO.

  3. Polly,

    Family of seven? Wow. That sounds like a lot of love and a wonderful problem to have!
    Have you thought of buying a small hotel instead of a house? ::laughs::


  4. Kameshwari,

    As always, thanks for the comment!

    I hope your trip was enjoyable. It sounds like you were able to reconnect with your SO which is always a good thing.

    Funny you mention sharing bathroom space. I’ve noticed a couple of things lately that seem to be common among a lot of women; 1) their bed is normally off-limits to their SO’s SO unless there is a group activity, 2) they do not like sharing their bathroom space.

    I’d be very interested in hearing why you dislike sharing your bathroom space and if you feel the same about your bed.


  5. Some issues with the towel bars can be avoided if you know where to put it. Nice post.
    kitchen towel bars