Ask Polyamory Paradigm

Check out my new question and answer blog!
AskPolyamoryParadigm

Thursday, October 21, 2010

They don’t get it.




I was at the local tequila bar with some friends the other night when one of my lesbian friends shows up wearing a shirt that says, “I can’t think straight”.
Think about it for a minute. Did you get it?
I loved it! She could wear the shirt in public and nobody would have a clue what she is really saying. And in fact, she has. A story she tells is of a woman in the grocery store who upon seeing her shirt said, “I can’t think straight either. I’m just in such a fog today!” She didn’t get it.
But to friends who know her and her sexual orientation, it is absolutely hysterical.
How many times have you seen a person, male or female, dressed in particular way and thought, “They are gay”. But did you really get it? It isn’t just that they may be gay, they are showing it to the world. Essentially wearing a big sign about their sexuality and broadcasting it to the world.
Now, I don’t have a problem with that but it did get me thinking about something. Why is it some people need to broadcast their sexuality or orientation? Initially I thought that it was mostly gay people who do this. T-shirts with rainbows, men wearing women's clothing, women wearing men's clothing. But monogamous people don’t broadcast their sexuality right? So why do gays? Ahhh, what about wedding rings? Isn't that the traditionally monogamous broadcasting their lifestyle for the world to see? I’m not making a judgment here either way but I’m going to move along and let you just think about that on your own. Comment if you like, I’d be interested to hear what you think.

On a fetish site the other day I read something that struck me as profound. Paraphrasing, the poster essentially said; If you are interested in a fetish, go to a fetish club. Ignore the people who dress a particular way, like in leather and chains for example. They are trying to dress a certain way to fit into a particular niche and fit a label. But who says you have to wear big boots, leather, and have tons of tattoo’s and piercings to fit a particular label? Why can’t the guy wearing Docker pants and a button-down oxford shirt be just as good a Sadist as the guy looking like he is wearing a leather and metal condom from head to toe?

It made me realize I don’t have to try to fit in. I don’t have to dress in a particular style. I don’t have to speak a certain way. I only have to be me to find the pleasure in my life, to enjoy my flavor of kink whatever that may be. And for me, maybe part of the fun is walking down the street looking just like everyone else and none of them having a clue that when the front door to my house closes I become someone completely different.
I become me.

1 comment: