Saturday, November 20, 2010
Polyamory is different from monogamy. That didn't surprise you did it? The people who practice polyamory are different from others as well. That shouldn't be a big surprise either. One of the things I enjoy about polyamory is the variety it brings to my life. Not that one of my partners is better than the other, but that I can appreciate their differences.
At a poly event the other night I was enjoying catching up with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, getting to know some newer friends better, and making even more new friends. That's when it struck me that polyamory hasn't just expanded the variety of my love life but that it has expanded other aspects of my life as well. There were people at the event that I never would have met except for polyamory. And there were people who on a normal day would probably never socialize, or possibly even tolerate one another, except for polyamory.
I'm a fairly conservative person in everyday life. Some of that is for the protection of my kids, and some of it is because I like my private life private. Yes, I may look like a Republican on the outside but ask any of my partners and they will be happy to tell you that is not at all how my life looks once I walk in the door of my home and most definitely is not representative of me behind the bedroom door.
As for the rest of the folks at the poly event:
-Several goth types who enjoy fetish clubs.
-A wiccan, or two, or more.
-A bi-female who hates to be labeled a bi-female and favors corsets.
-A cross-dresser or two.
-A medicinal marijuana stoner who dabbles in art and music and has taken marijuana appreciation to impressive levels.
-A bi-female metal guitarist.
-An accountant by day, BDSM playboy by night.
-An alternative lifestyle therapist who enjoys dressing provocatively and her blue collar hubby who looks a lot like another Republican.
-A heavily inked and pierced dom and her long-term boyfriend (playtoy?).
And an assortment of other folks whom I couldn't begin to classify.
As I looked around at this group I was truly impressed at the variety. To think that such a widely differing group of people could be brought together by their desire to love more than one person in their life amazes me. At the same time it made me realize how these different people have educated me, broadened my horizons, gently prodded me to explore and press boundaries, and accepted one another because of their lifestyle choice. Does that happen with monogamy? Could I walk up to someone completely outside my social class, with a contradictory type of life and say "Hi. I'm monogamous." and strike up a conversation based on the commonality of our both being monogamous? I seriously doubt it. I think they would look at me funny and walk away. That's just one more reason I know polyamory is right for me.