Recently Janet Kira Lessin, Center Holder, World Polyamory Association and apparently a founder of the WPA posted an excerpt from her book "Polyamory, The Poly-Tantra Lovestyle". The excerpt (which I can't post a link to here since it was on membership site and I can't find it elsewhere) briefly outlines how she and her husband view and have designed their polyamory. Here is a reprint of a piece of the article on which I'm going to focus:
"G & R came out of the closet, walked into our world at the Loving More
Conference. There I admired a beautiful Goddess, J, in the hot tub. As Sasha
hugged me, J noticed me, floated up and met me eye-to-eye. She "saw" me and
there was this knowingness. Sasha introduced us but my head spun; names and
words were meaningless. He pointed to her mate, B, who was every bit the God to
her Goddess, and I gazed from her to him, him to her, then to Sasha.
Simultaneously, all our faces lighted with smiles. Our hearts and souls rejoiced
with knowingness. Our soul groups celebrated with a new homecoming.
In my mind, I pondered, "What should I do?" I'd exclusively committed to G
& R. Yet here was amazing energy with these two new people. I followed my
instincts and leveled with them. "Sasha and I are here with our lovers, G & R.
If you'd like to meet them and we all click, well who knows?"
When we met, the connection was there, all the way around, all six of us!
Sasha, G & R and I invited the new couple to our cabin with (we said) no
expectations. With the freedom of no expectations came the bliss of six, my most
magic night of love thus far.
I fell asleep basking in the glow of our six-way love. We have fulfilled
the prophecy laid out by the late Robert Rimmer in The Harrad Experiment; a
vision of three couples uniting at graduation. Yes, thank you, Robert, we all
indeed had graduated."
As entertaining as the article is, and it sounds like Janet's life may be, I was left shaking my head. The story is presented as a beautifully wonderful and loving poly moment and to that end I wish Janet nothing but happiness and a nice memory. But seriously, she and her husband and the couple they are dating met J&B and ended up in a six-way sex fest with them the same night. Really? That is polyamory? Before I sleep with anyone we have some serious conversations, even if it is just going to be casual. I'd like to hear a brief sexual history, general outlook on sexual activity, promiscuity, safety, and expectations going forward. Then we can talk about sexual likes and dislikes and determine if it is just going to be casual sex, are we even wanting the same kind of casual sex?
Folks, that isn't a 20 minute conversation. It can often take hours. I have a hard time understanding how Janet, a supposed expert and experienced polyamorist, could meet a couple, have the necessary conversations, and engage in a six-way orgy with the couple the same day. Personally I don't believe I could establish an emotional connection that quickly let alone satisfy my safety concerns. In my mind her story doesn't fall in the category of polyamory at all, but rather much more solidly lands in the swing realm of things.
What are your thoughts on this one? Is the story swing or poly? Did you view the story more like I did, or did you read it as a Happy Poly Moment?