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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I'm shy. . . in daylight.

I think I find people so interesting because there are some that I just can't figure out. No matter how hard I try, what passes for logic in their brains just doesn't translate intelligently to mine.

A friend of mine and I were talking about her sex life the other day. This woman is quite sexual and currently has 2 full-time male partners and a male/female couple she is seeing. She shuffles between two of the males, living part time with each of them, and sees the couple as she has time in between. This sounds like a busy schedule, but add to it that this lovely lady has a sex drive that would make a porn star blush. As if that weren't enough, her tastes in sex are a bit on the wild side. Her current goal is to enjoy a DP (dual penetration) with two guys. This is a conversation we have fairly regularly since she has had this fantasy for a while but been unable to see it fulfilled. (Apparently a lot of guys out there "wither" at the idea of their manhood being in such close proximity to another man). It probably helps that I have some interest in the topic so I'm willing to discuss it with her from a male perspective.

After a bit the conversation changed to a local "play party" that is coming up, and this is where things got interesting. I ask if she was going to the play party and she said no. When I ask why her response was, "I'm too timid to go to something like that."

Umm, hold on, you are trying to find two guys to do a DP with you but you are too timid for a play party? I mean really, "play party" doesn't mean there aren't any rules. No still means no, and if you don't want to see the funky stuff don't go to the play area.

Things got even more amusing when she said "I wouldn't know what to do at a play party." which actually made me chuckle. She went on to explain the statement saying, "I would go down on the guys, that's no big deal, they can just wash off quick beforehand in the bathroom. But I would want to play with girls and I'm not playing with a girl who has been playing with a guy." Which I totally understand but she felt the need to explain saying "Girls can't clean off that easy you know."

Okay, thanks, we can stop that conversation now, way to much information there.

Now maybe it is just the sick twisted logical half of my brain but the thought went something like this; my friend with effectively two husbands and a play couple on the side, who is seeking two men to help her fulfill a DP fantasy that I would actually categorize as mild sex for her, is too timid to attend a play party? Did I miss something in the fine print?

I'm really hoping someone can explain this to me a bit because seriously, I don't get it.

Now before you flame me, let me say a bit more. I completely understand that just because someone likes sex A LOT, and has sex A LOT, doesn't mean they would be comfy with strangers at a party. Fair enough. But this woman goes through sex partners like an 8 yr old goes through a box of Chicklets and has even said that maybe her DP partners need to be strangers to avoid the performance issues she has seen in past attempts. Not to mention she will know most if not all of the folks at the party.

So, maybe she is shy right? Yeah, no, not even close. Next.

Maybe she doesn't want to be seen having sex by other people? And at this party, she would be seen if she was having sex. Again, wrong answer. If anything the woman is an exhibitionist and is more than happy to have sex in front of strangers.

So tell me dear readers, what am I missing here? This really just doesn't compute for me. Do you have a theory based on what I've told you? If not I'm thinking there is something she isn't telling me since this seems so illogical for her. Let me know what you think!


  1. Maybe she fears pressure from certain someones that she knows will be there...from someone she isnt interested perhaps?

  2. k!nkyNurse,

    That is a good theory! I doubt it though, she isn't someone who is afraid to say "no" or make her feelings known. She is usually quite vocal and even abrasive.
    I guess she could be shy about being seen by someone she knows is interested in her but that she isn't interested in. But then, I've seen her get naked for rituals in front of twenty people without even blushing and know she has participated in some that were sexually focused, so I don't know about that theory either.

    Thanks for the comment!

  3. Is it the community? I find it's one thing to be privately kinky--as in the people who know you are kinky and you play with often don't know other people in your life. It's a compartmentalized sex life. Play parties, tend to be more community oriented. If she goes to a play party,(where often everyone seems to know everyone) it's quite a different beast--these people will continue to get together, and can be quite clique-ish and gossipy. There is ultimately a loss of privacy once you start attending play parties. And you start running into them in real life....!

  4. walkietalkieooo,

    The "compartmentalized sex life" does make some sense as she seems to separate parts of her life to a certain extent. Tying that in with what K!nkyNurse said it makes even more sense. The separation of the social, intimate, and kinky sides of her life which would be blended at the play party could be the reason for her hesitation.

    Thanks for the feedback!