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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Premature relations.

The other day I was chatting with a friend about a new relationship he had entered. He was lamenting the relationship, how he felt it was a mistake, and had ended the relationship shortly after it was consummated. He told me of how he had waited to have sex with the woman until they had established an emotional connection. He had wanted to wait longer but the woman had been relentless in her sexual pursuit of him so he finally relented. He felt that waiting any longer would have left the woman frustrated to the point she might not want to continue the relationship. During their first sexual encounter he realized in the middle of things that they were not sexually compatible. Not knowing what to do, he finished as quickly as possible and ended the relationship shortly thereafter.

I had some questions about the safety level of this woman, which he shared, and so I asked why he had sex with her at all. His response was that due to her relentless pursuit he felt there was no other choice. The man stated he felt obligated to have sex with the woman because she believed sex was necessary for them to have a relationship.

To be blunt his logic confounded me. I didn't, and still don't, understand how someone would feel obligated to have sex because someone else felt it was necessary. Now don't get me wrong, I think people in committed relationships from time to time may have sex with their partner even when they aren't in the mood. But making your partner happy at your own expense once in a while is part of a healthy relationship in my opinion.

I comprehend even less why someone would feel obligated when they aren't even convinced the relationship is viable at that point. And finishing the job when you aren't even enjoying having sex with the person? Sorry folks, I'm completely in the dark on that one.

So have you entered into a relationship, or made the mistake of trying, in the manner this gentleman did? What was the result? Would you do it again or did you learn how to avoid making the same mistake again?

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